93. Manifesting Your Mental Health feat. Efia Sulter

Mar 31

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Today's guest is Efia Sulter—a mindset and manifestation coach and the host of The Manifest Edit! Efia's passion is helping ambitious women create the life they truly desire – not just the life they’ve settled for. In this episode, we dive deep into Efia's journey of overcoming the childhood trauma of being orphaned, the value of the coach-client relationship, what exactly manifesting is, the importance of subconscious programming, angel numbers, manifestation misconceptions, how mental health and manifestation intersect, how race relates to manifesting, and so much more!

Efia's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/efiasulter_/

Efia's Website: https://www.efiasulter.com/

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About She Persisted (formerly Nevertheless, She Persisted)

After a year and a half of intensive treatment for severe depression and anxiety, 18-year-old Sadie recounts her journey by interviewing family members, professionals, and fellow teens to offer self-improvement tips, DBT education, and personal experiences. She Persisted is the reminder that someone else has been there too and your inspiration to live your life worth living.

a note: this is an automated transcription so please ignore any accidental misspellings!

Sadie: Welcome to she persisted. I'm your host Sadie Sutton. Every Friday, I post interviews about mental health, dialectical behavioral therapy and teenage life. These episodes break down my mental health journey, teach skills to help you cope with life and showcase testimonials from individuals, including teens, just like you, whether you've struggled yourself or just want to improve your mental fitness.

This podcast is your inspiration to live a life you love and keep persisting.

This week's DBT skill is self-soothing. I feel like we could all use a little bit of self-soothing in our lives right now. The skills pretty straightforward. What you are doing is you are soothing emotionally using your five senses. So I'll give you some examples. So for touch, maybe you're like petting your talk or you're putting on a really comfy blanket.

Maybe you are getting a massage, getting her nails done taking a hot shower, all of those kinds of things for taste. Maybe you aren't. Baking your favorite treat or you're drinking a relaxing tea. I'm having a smoothie, things that are soothing and enjoyable for you for smell. Maybe your lighting, your favorite candle using your favorite lotion going outside and like smelling nature or you're drinking your favorite cup of coffee for the smell.

Also for today. For hearing, maybe you're listening to music, a podcast, a book, all of those kinds of things. Maybe you are really leaning into the quiet and unplugging independently being outside. And just listening to the sounds around you. For site, you maybe are watching your favorite movie reading a book that you love people watching tons of different ideas here, but whatever is soothing for you. One of my favorite tips for this is to beforehand, come up with a list of what works for you, so that when you really need to self-sooth and self care, you know, exactly like which candle to grab or much tea works for you and what movie to watch rather than them being like, okay, I need, I know I need to self-sooth right now, but do I take a hot shower?

Do I take a cold shower? Do I go outside? Do I stay inside? So figure out what works for you. Make a. In your phone on a piece of paper, whatever works and have that as your go-to for when you are feeling overwhelmed.

Hello. Hello. And welcome back to she persisted. I am out of quarantine and my voice is back. I'm so excited for this episode. Our guest today is Efia Sulter. She is a mindset and manifestation coach, and she also hosts a podcast called the manifest. Edit. This conversation goes literally everywhere. We talked about her journey, overcoming childhood trauma.

We talk about the coaching client relationship. We talk about manifesting and really breaking down what that is. All these buzzwords you've heard like angel numbers and all that kind of stuff that I know you've seen on Tik TOK cause I've seen it as well. We talked about misconceptions, the manifesting world.

We talked about spirituality. We talked about. How mental health and manifestation intersect and really dive into subconscious programming. And then we also touched on how race relates to manifesting. This is just such a good conversation. And it's one of my favorites that I've done in a while. So as always, if you enjoy this week's episode, make sure to rate and review on apple podcasts.

Spotify share with a friend or family member. And if you guys want to follow along with FES, she says it at the end, but her Instagram is at FES Holter, E F I a S U L T E R. Underscore, same thing for a Tik TOK. And her website is FES holter.com. So with that, let's dive in.

Thank you so much for joining me today on She Persisted. I'm so excited to have you on the show.

Efia: Thank you. I'm so excited to be here and to get into our discussion today as well.

Sadie: Yeah. So I want to hear your story. I want to hear how you got to the point of doing the work that you are now and working in manifestation and, and hosting a podcast and all of that.

So, so talk to me about your.

Efia: I think the thing about my journey is there are so many points that feel like beginning points, but it all kind of like loops around, but I'm sure it's a case of many people's story, but for me, I think it really began in my childhood and the, I had a bit of a different upbringing from other people.

I was in the caste system and I was adopted at age three and I had a really, really beautiful kind of normal issue as normal as your life can be as a kid growing up, I. I lived with my adoptive mother until I was 14. And at which point she unfortunately passed away due to a long-term illness. And so really at that point, in fact, not even at the point that my mom passed away, but from as early as 10 was when my life really began to change, because my mum was gradually declining and her health.

And they went from that position, ostracized, being a normal kid and living a childhood to growing up incredibly quickly. And inside of that, Grown-up it is. So I feel like in many ways, my childhood was different to the childhood of my peers. My mom was kind of spiritual, had crystals around the house, did like dial up Tony Robbins conferences.

So for me as an adult, going into spirituality and becoming a manifestation coach was not that much of a reach, but it was, it definitely wasn't something that I always knew I was going to do. And I feel so many of the experiences I had in my own childhood and the importance of. The people I had in my life who mentored me outside of those traditional family roles or parent roles had a huge impact on the person I am today.

And so in the work that I do, I know. The importance of people like that. And I think something which is often not really shared about the, what I find to be so beautiful about the coaching relationship is that you can have friends, you can have family members, but we don't always have entirely honest discussions with people.

And it's not because we don't love them that we're not having honest conversations, but it's because we love them so much that we don't want to happen on this conversation. And so when you hire a coach like. I you're not paying me to be your best friend. Like I love you and I care about you and that's why we are going to have a relationship where I'm going to help you see what your blind spots are.

And we may even have some difficult and challenging conversations inside of that, but that's because number one, that's what you're paying me for. But number two, like that is how we get that true growth is by illuminating what's in the blind spots so that we can fully become the most integrous version of ourselves.

Sadie: Yeah, I love that. And I think that's so true. And I think there's also something really beautiful about having like a third party that you can go to once a week, once a month, whatever it is. And really just like, let things go and, and vent and get those emotions out and then not have to like, not deal with the repercussions, but it's not like you are complaining to your mom.

Three times three times a day, you see her, she's like, how's that situation going? Like I've already moved on. I wanted to talk about it once and then just continue on with my life. So it's such an amazing thing to have someone that you can and can talk to and open up with and get like professional support.

Efia: Yeah, I totally agree. And I love the example. They use that, but it's true. And you know, if you've ever thought about a friend and they're in a relationship and you're like, yeah, yeah, he's a great, and you know, they keep taking them back and you have to just be there and support them because that's what a friend is for.

So the relationship is different. Although you may feel like you have that friendliness inside that relationship, obviously you don't want to work with someone that you don't like, but it is it's different on. And I think as a beautiful.

Sadie: Totally. So manifestation is a huge buzzword right now. I feel like every three tech talks on my four you page, we're talking about manifesting and goals, break it down for us.

What does it mean to, to manifest something at a very basic level?

Efia: To manifest something is to make something real, to make something tangible. So to take something from an idea to something that you can experience in your 3d reality, something you can patch something, you can see something that is not just existing in your brain is the process of manifestation.

So we're all manifesting all the time. But as a manifestation coach, I'm helping people bring more of an awareness to their subconscious programming so that they can reprogram it to be more success. And I don't just mean success in like monetary or tangible outcomes, but also in the way that you feel.

And so our subconscious program. So, so important for the way that we live our lives and not enough people know about it. And we, you know, if you've ever had this idea and you're like, yes, this is why I want to have this one and attract. And then you say all these things and you're like, wait, but why isn't it happening is because 95% of your life is run by your subconscious programming.

Your subconscious programming informs everything. For me inside of my work. It's very important for me to add some of the context and nuance that's missing from the manifestation space, which as you say on tech talking, by the way, I'm also in tech talk, I love to talk I'm on there all the time, but there's only so much you can say in a three-minute videos.

So it's very important to me, but I am helping to empower people through the lens of like what manifestation is, what manifestation isn't an adding that context back into some phrases or some ideas that you're seeing online that the interest not quite fully.

Sadie: Yeah, no, I think that's so true going to the subconscious belief systems and subconscious beliefs that people hold.

Are there common ones that lots of people are operating by that are just creating huge blocks or is it super subjective? And everyone is, has different belief systems that they're utilizing.

Efia: I think there are many common limiting beliefs mindset blocks that appear in different ways, but I don't want to only attribute it to beliefs because beliefs is just one small part of what your subconscious programming is.

We also have your identity, we have your trauma, we have your lived experience. And so obviously every person is completely different in that. Justin limiting beliefs. I believe that there are, there are many similar little ones, like fear of success, fear of failure, fear of what other people are going to think that we many people have.

But they may present with. Yeah,

Sadie: no, I think that's true. And it completely impacts how you're interacting with the world, what relationships you're diving into, what different like career paths or education paths you're pursuing. And I, I think that's very true. What are some different ways to manifest?

I know there's probably endless different examples, but are there common ones that you like to implement and to use with clients?

Efia: I think it depends on where they're at in their spiritual journey and what specifically they want to manifest. And so I'll give you an exam. Yesterday on Tik TOK. Someone asked me for advice with manifesting some friends and they were like, can you give me some affirmations to manifest some friends?

And I'm like, well, yes, I could give you some affirmations to manifest and friends. But also it depends like what your current mindset is around manifesting friends. Like, I don't want to give you this like advice without context. And so the advice I gave them when it came to manifesting brands, rather than just like an affirmation, like I have friends now I have a friend group, which is probably not going to do much.

If that feels super far away for you right now. Wants to think about the kind of relationships that they wanted to have and to script on them right. On those kinds of relationships. And then most importantly is to take actions based off of those relationships. And so when we talk about relationships, I think the piece that's often missing is it's like, yes, be really clear on like the people that you want to try and have in your life, but also.

Are you nourishing yourself in those ways? Like, oh, I want a person who's going to this and this and this. And especially with romantic relationships, like, okay, but are you doing all of those things? Are you cooking for yourself? Are you treating yourself? Are you saying nice words and loving on yourself?

And we have to treat ourselves the way that we expect other people to treat us as well. And I'm not saying like, I don't believe. You can't no, one's going to love you unless you love yourself. That kind of thing. I don't believe that, but I believe it's important that we're not just externalizing our needs to other people and that we are fulfilling ourselves.

So when it comes to manifesting something, And getting really clear on it. And then also noticing like, okay, are the actions I am taking actually aligned with that, because if you're saying like, I want to manifest a new friend group, I want to have new friends, but you're not meeting people or you're not messaging people and asking them if they want to hang out then not much.

Sadie: Yeah, totally.

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Efia: So for me, manifestation is absolutely synonymous with spirituality because the relationship that you have with the universe, and that's not to say that if you are Christian or any other religion, that that's not gonna work as well.

Like, I think it's very personal to the individual, but for me, the way that I practice is through the lens of spirituality and that. Part of the manifestation process is communicating with the universe, your guides, your higher self angels to make the reality that you want to happen happen. And so why I said it depends where people are at on their spiritual journey as, because personally I'm not of the belief that manifestation happens overnight.

And if you see someone saying like, I manifest something in 24 hours or instant manifestation, I think that it's important to say that. We do the building blocks of mindset work. And once we've done those building blocks of mindset work, it may be quicker for some things to happen in dice looks like something happened in 24 hours, but it's actually, because of all the groundwork that you've laid up until that point.

And so it's like when you hear people say like, when you're freelancing, don't charge by the hour, because you're not accounting for all the skills that you've learned have actually allowed you to now complete something quickly. And it's just the same for manifestation. So, if you're out the mindset, you just getting beginning with mindset and manifestation, where it can add the moment your mindset is like, it's really hard to manifest things.

I don't think I'm a very powerful manifester if I just was like, okay, yeah, here's your affirmation to manifest your friends. And you're still in the mindset of like, it's going to be really hard and challenging, then it's not going to change. Whereas if you're at the mindset like, yup. I know I'm a stupid, powerful manifestor I'm like ready to take action.

I know what I need to do. I just need some affirmations to support me. Cause I'm like feeling creatively challenged at the moment. That's different.

Sadie: You mentioned angels. I feel like angel numbers are another thing that are blowing up right now. Walk me through those, what they mean, what they can symbolize and, and some common ways that those are implemented.

And either you like your daily life or your clients.

Efia: So there are so many angel numbers. I honestly don't know every single one off by heart. I'm going to be on the front of that, but I will talk to you about signs. And so previously at university, I studied semiotics, which is the study of science.

And I think a piece that isn't really talked about when it comes to science. Yes. Y I don't advocate for my clients to ask signs either is because I believe when you ask for a sign, you're externalizing your decision making process, and you're putting your power somewhere outside of yourself. That's not to say that don't use science, but the way that I encourage people to use them are different.

So instead of if I'm meant to leave this relationship, give me a sign. Or if this is the job for me, give me a sign. I encourage people to use the signs as less like nods and confirmations that you're on the right path and those nods and confirmation. Uh, Going to show up differently. And so for me, when I'm manifesting money, a signal to me that I'm on track to hit my money goal is if I see money on the ground, it doesn't matter if it's $2, $1.

If I see money on the ground, that's assigned to me that I'm on track with my money. Goals does not mean the same to everyone else. No, but I've chosen for that to be a sign that signals that to me. And so we got to choose. Okay, this is going to signal this to me, but don't only call on that. Like if I don't see the money on the ground and that means I'm not going to hit go.

Yeah, exactly. That's just like a nudge to me. Like keep going on the right path. You know, that kind of like, it's like a helpful presence rather than like, I need this to.

Sadie: so would you say that angel numbers, like you are at first, like talking to yourself and saying, okay, this is a signal that I will look for.

And then that's when it has meaning or is it not attached to setting intention initially?

Efia: So with angel numbers, angel numbers already have like, kind of more prescribed meanings than just like a random I don't know, whatever people use the science, like an animal or a guide. Right. But angel numbers have more prescribed meanings.

So for example, the 11, 11 is a signifier that whatever you're thinking about this moment in time, Your desires and manifesting quickly. So to be aware of what you're thinking at that moment in time, 3, 3, 3 is like this change is coming 5, 5, 5, your angels and your masters are near you. So I don't, I don't ask to see those into numbers, but when I see them throughout the day, I'm like, oh, okay.

I've been seeing 11, 11 law recently was the saying, okay, like, have I been thinking things that are conducive to what I want to manifest? So if you're seeing angel numbers, that can be like, Okay. Let me just look into this and see like what, what am I being called to? So it's more like your angels are guiding you and your signs are signifies that you're on the right path.

Yeah.

Sadie: Yeah. What are some common misconceptions that people hold about manifesting and its connection to spirituality?

Efia: I think some common misconceptions are, I think there's two kinds of misconceptions. This misconceptions that come from people who are very far removed from the space and are just like, yeah, all of this is BIS and it just seems completely unrealistic.

And then we have also misconceptions that come from within this space. And so I'll give you one of each. So a misconception that might come from outside the space is like, it's BS. It doesn't mean. No, it's just not possible. Whereas, you know, manifestation is not just spirituality, but it's a combination of spirituality, science and strategy.

So when we talk to people about like in the manifestation space about rewiring your brain, that's not BS. It's like you're changing your neurological systems by repeating positive affirmations, or by doing the belief work, you are actually changing. Not only the way that your brain works, but you can actually Recode your DNA that way through epigenetics.

And so that's on one side and then on the other side, For example, the expression, thoughts become things. Again, this is one of those things as kind of lost context, as it's going around the internet and the yes. Thoughts do impact how you manifest, but they're not the only thing because they're just one small piece of your subconscious programming and your subconscious programming is also your beliefs, traumas, identity, and so many other layers.

So if you're just focusing on thoughts, what might happen. Can become disempowering because anytime you have a negative thought, you're like, oh no, is this going to manifest? And for me as someone who experiences different mental illnesses, one of those is like, as a result of my anxiety, I'll have intrusive thoughts.

If I thought every time I had an intrusive thought, oh no, I'm like actually going to grab the policemen's gun and I'm gonna like, come on. Like, that's just not helpful to anyone. When we say thoughts become things. I think the idea behind it is like, let's look at how a belief is formed. And if we go down to the core of how beliefs are formed history, so.

So think, I don't know how to say I was going to put over it, but thought, I thought that you think numerous times, right. And you really believe that too. That's how it devolves into belief. And then when we have something that we're believing, so truly then it becomes more than a belief. It becomes part of your identity.

Right? So what we're really saying is like, just watch the trajectory of your thoughts. If it's something that you are thinking of a repeated period of time, that's making you feel a certain type of way. That's why we want to have an awareness, but a negative thought in the day-to-day is certainly not going to ruin your.

Yeah,

Sadie: I think that's so interesting. And I really like what you touched on there, because I think there's definitely like a dialectic between having negative thoughts and them not necessarily like becoming a huge part of your life. And then there's that having those thoughts that then become beliefs, that then become part of your identity.

And I think that's something that really holds true with mental health, a lot of different challenges, whether it's with depression or self-esteem or anxiety come with beliefs that you are. Like not wrong, but you you're struggling. Like, got to believe that you hold, that's just part of your identity. If it's like self esteem, maybe it's that you're not good enough.

I remember I was holding beliefs that I wasn't like good enough that I wasn't deserving of love that treatment. Wasn't gonna work for me. And I always go back to this moment when I started residential treatment. And when one of my doctors asked me. Do you want to be here? Do you believe this is going to work?

And I was like, no, it's not going to work. I've tried it before. Like I meant to be depressed just how I am. And he was like, okay, that's great. But that's not like you can be here for 14 weeks for. Eight weeks, however long, and nothing's going to change. So I think it's going to shift. And up until that point, I really had been living by the beliefs and the identity that I, I was just a depressed person.

I was meant to be this way. This is what my life would always look like. And it was only once I shifted that, that I did see the changes and in my lifestyle. So I would love to kind of hear your perspective on how those two things are connected manifestation and mental health.

Efia: I think that we kind of have a conversation about manifestation without also having a conversation of mental health, especially when it affects so many people.

And I think that men just because you have mental illness does not mean that you then can't manifest or any type of illness for that matter. But I think what we should be aware of is the way that it impacts the way that we manifest it, obviously. And as I have someone who has also experienced depression, there can be.

It can go two ways in one that can kind of give you hope and feel that you can change your situation and as long as change. And then in another way, if maybe it's your first time hear about it, and then you're also hearing like thoughts become things. You're thinking, well, I'm screwed because like the way that I feel about myself right now is not conducive to like change in my reality.

And so what I would say is, you know, obviously I'm not a mental health professional, so, so if you're listening to this, that's just my, my disclaimer. Yeah. Is that to start with small things and know that it's possible for anyone to change their reality, the possibilities of there you've been doing it all your life up until this point, maybe not necessarily consciously, but you do have the power and the ability to do that based on your lived experience based on your traumas.

But some people is certainly going to be, it may feel more challenging and I don't want to diminish the way that you feel right now and say that your struggles don't exist or that depression is just a mindset block because it isn't. Well through things like learning how your subconscious mind works and how these thoughts have been informing your life and what you're actually still seeing with your identity.

We can then do things like shadow work to peel back the layers and even things like therapy or working with a coach or working with whoever you're even working with your guys. And just whoever to peel back the layers and create an identity. That meal feels more true for the person who not only the person that you want to be, but who you truly are underneath.

All those other things that build.

Sadie: Yeah, I love that so much. And I think there's something really powerful, but having a goal to work towards, and you mentioned kind of with the friendship example, writing down, what kinds of friends you want to have, how you feel in your relationships, what your interactions look like?

I think that can be true for a lot of mental health things as well. We get so stuck in our reality, and we have our blinders on to what our experiences are like and can be really difficult to imagine how your reality could be different. So if you're really struggling, you're feeling depressed.

Constantly There's not a lot of things to look forward to spending time journaling and getting really clear on what you want your life to look like. Like what belief systems are you living your life by? What are your daily activities? Look like? How are your relationships making you feel? How do you feel, et cetera can be a goal to work towards.

And, and mental health is, is a really vague, abstract thing. It can be so difficult to navigate because it's not like. Immediate easy end goal to be pursuing, but having some clarity there and being like, okay, I feel I've made progress. If I am feeling depressed only three out of seven days a week instead of seven out of seven or something like that I think can be really powerful.

And I think that is another way that manifestation and mental health can be super aligned.

Efia: I also want to bring up the point though. There are stages. There are levels to this, right? And if you're a position right now where you feel depressed, you feel like the world is just trash on you just like are trying to get out of it.

For most people. They're not going to jump from feeling super depressed. I can manifest the life I am on top of it. I know that. That's okay. So you can go from, everything is trashed too. Everything is okay. You can go from everything is okay to, Hey, I'm starting to see the good moments you can go from him starting to see a good moment to mostly good moments, actually some trash moments, but mostly good moments.

And it's okay to like move through the levels rather than feeling like you need to go from zero to a hundred, because most people, especially if you're experiencing mental illness, it's not realistic. And it's just going to make you feel worse about yourself. So rather than jumping. Okay. Like and by the way, like, especially when you are experiencing depression for anxiety may be slightly different, but especially when you're experiencing depression is like not overwhelming yourself with like radical change, because then you're just gonna stay depressed and then feel worse about yourself and not changing so quickly.

So like, Small, bite-sized manageable things. Aren't going to make you feel slightly better. It's actually better for the long run because it's going to compound and eventually change the way that you feel in a much more sustainable way. Because what we don't want to do is dip into the danger of dangerously high highs and dangerously, low lows, and like spin between the pendulum of the two is better to feel more neutral, especially if you're getting out, but an intense state of depression, by my opinion, is it's better to feel more neutral than like.

Feeling like if you're not in that high, high you're failing. And so for me, I used to have this belief that all I wanted in my life, there was two things I wanted in my life after my mom passed away. And I'd experienced a really intense period of grief during this time, because not only had my mom passed away, but six months after that my grandma had passed away.

And a year after that, my friend at school had passed away. So, oh, I'd seen them around me was like death and grief. And because I had previously been in the care system that meant. My sister and my brother and I, we became orphaned because we didn't have any family left at that point. So all I wanted was to be normal and to be happy, to be normal and to be happy.

And so when later in my life, I began to realize I was experiencing depression. I felt really bad about myself because I wasn't feeling happy. And so what I don't want to do is for anyone listening to this, be like, well, if I'm not thinking positively, or if I'm not being happy, then I'm not going to create a life that I want.

That's not true. We all have. Moments. And for some people, those moments may feel like they last longer, but something that always helps me to feel really on Curtis, knowing that whether I'm in a like crazy of world, amazing moment, or I'm in a like tragic really sad moment, it's like, this is a moment.

This is not forever. This is not a lifetime. And while we can visit the challenges, we can visit the difficult moments we don't, we don't live there. And so. In terms of building blocks, if you are in a challenging period right now, just think about like, what is the minimum viable thing that you could do?

Is it like writing one thing that you're grateful about each day and not just about like your external experience with like one thing that you love about yourself, or one thing that made you smile today, can you tomorrow make that two things, you know, or can you meditate for five minutes and just finding small things?

To make your way of living better. And then you'll notice that you actually increase your capacity to hold more.

Sadie: Yeah. Yeah. And I think. The more conversations I have in the, in the mental health, the wellness space, whatever it is, the more books I read, the more podcasts I listened to the bottom line is always seems to be consistency.

And it's those small goals that you can be consistent with that make the biggest difference. And I struggle with what you talked about as well with setting these really big goals. Of course you fall short because they're not attainable. They're not possible to be consistent with. And I had a therapist, one time told me it was this symptom of anxiety to set these really overwhelming, crazy aspirations, and then struggled to meet them.

And then you get in that head space of being like, why am I not capable of meeting this goal? I set one goal for myself and yet I can't do it. And yet that goal is unattainable. Maybe it's not, but you're struggling to get to that point. Doing the smaller goals, it can be kind of discouraging to think about.

You're like, okay, well, I'm literally going to just do deep breathing for 30 seconds a day. Like, well, anyone can do that. Like, why is that the goal I have to set for myself? But if you can do that every single day, over a long period of time, that consistency is going to be so much more meaningful than meditating for 45 minutes once and then never doing it again.

And so I think that's really, really powerful. And I think you said that really well.

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X oh, Sadie at checkout for 20% off your first order, use the link in today's show notes I would love to hear what some of the most common things people want to manifest are. I think that kind of goes in line with getting out of our, like blinders Headspace in our opening our eyes to like what our lives can look like and getting inspiration from, from other people's goals and aspirations.

Efia: Mm. Money purpose LA. I think are the top three. And yeah, I think inside of purpose, you know, that might look like also business or career success, or at least a deep sense of clarity in those things as well. So I think for most people that it's about feeling more at home in themselves, and then these other things are supporting the way that they want.

Sadie: I, I love that. And I, I think it just speaks to how subjective all of this is like what one person wants and what makes them feel great. Might not make you feel great. And so even ha creating the space to get clear on what your goals are, whether it's in relationship or purpose or financially, whatever those are.

You're not only creating thoughts that eventually can turn into things, but you are really getting clear on what that goal is and starting to, to pursue it. I would love to kind of hear about the, I guess, where the divide would be, obviously just like sitting and thinking about something doesn't necessarily mean that it'll come to fruition.

There's something really powerful about getting clear on what your goal is and wanting to call it into action because it kind of. It gives you a place to be oriented to you're putting more focus towards something than you would otherwise. But are there things that you say to your clients, like, okay, like what goals are we going to set?

Or what different markers are you going to try to meet to make this a less abstract process?

Efia: Definitely. I think there needs to be a declared degree of clarity and certainty. Otherwise you don't know what you're working towards. And then also, how are you going to measure that? You've actually. Made progress because we're actually making more progress than we realized, but if we're not setting these kind of markers, it is difficult to look back and see that.

So I typically work with my clients inside a 12 month mastermind. And in that every single month, we have an intention setting workshop and within those intention setting, right. We are reflecting on the previous month and then we're intention setting for the month ahead. And there's a degree of clarity around that, in that the goals that we're setting, do you have some systems to up around them, but also people are not like locked in by, this is the only things I'm going to do because it's all that I've written down or that.

You know, life happens, things change. And if they don't get everything done that they said they were going to do, it's not like, well, that sucks. Like you suck and you're rubbish. It's just like, okay, well, let's look at why this actually happened and what we're going to do moving forward. So I, for me, it's very important to me, the process of manifestation flexible, because.

Everything is changing all of the time. We're changing all the time and then life changing all the time. External sockets that's changing all the time. So we can't expect our process to be just like, oh, I'm going to manifest the thing the same way every single time, because we have seasons just as life has seasons.

Sadie: This might not be accurate whatsoever. But through this conversation, manifestation feels I'm understanding it as spiritual, intentional very low. Insightful goal setting. Is that a complete misconception or would you say that's kind of an aligned understanding of what it, what it looks like?

Efia: Yeah, definitely an alignment.

The standing, I think, you know, Evan name people want to give to it is the name that empowers. Most and if manifestation isn't quite resonating for you that's okay. But it, it really is about the process of bringing your dreams to life. And what tools, resources, and knowledge are you going to use to do that, to bring your extraordinary vision?

Sadie: I love that. And I think that's really helpful for people to hear, especially we talked about those two camps of the people that are like on the outside versus on the inside. And I think on the outside, like the most common things that I've heard, whether it's on social media or with, with friends and family, is it.

Well, like, that's not going to do anything. If you just sit and think about something or you're just calling something into action, but there's so much more to it than that. It's changing your thoughts, your beliefs, your identity, it's making these goals. It's seeing the progress you've made. And I, I think this conversation illustrated that very beautifully and, and really brought a lot of clarity there that there's so much nuance that goes into this process.

Efia: Yeah, totally. You nailed it.

Sadie: I have one final question, which is, are there things, people that you see, I mean, take talk again. The biggest forms of, of information. It feels like where people are saying things are manifesting, but they're just like so off base and you're like, that's not what you're doing.

That's not what's happening.

Efia: Hmm. I can't say that I've ever particularly come across that what I will say though, is like, we do need to look at the lens of privilege that someone's coming from. So if someone's saying like, yay, this was really easy for me to manifest this. We also need to be aware of.

Okay. What were the systems that allowed them to manifest it so easily? So if you are beating yourself up around things, and then you're seeing someone who's coming from, you know, maybe are privileged April body background, then of course there may be things that make it easier for them, but just because it's easier for them does not mean that it's not possible for you to.

And so when I talk about things like spiritual bypassing and conversations around race and manifestation as well, it's like these things exist. You know, we can't just say like, oh, well, you know, it's not spiritual to talk about these harder issues because it's absolutely spiritual to look at what we are experiencing as souls on this planet right now in this moment.

Right. We can't just say like, it's not spiritual to talk about and just bypass very real experiences for people or kind of. Diminish someone's struggles, right? That's not fair and it's not right, but just because we have struggles and challenges does not mean that it's not also possible for us. And so I, you know, I do have privileges within my own life, despite the fact that I did grow up in care and I had a challenging, not bringing I'm very lucky now to like live somewhere.

That's really beautiful. And to have enough money to do the things I want to do in life was not always that way for me. And if I'd have just looked at the situation that I hadn't. Cards kind of cards, cards, the pens, the hand I was dealt behind, I was doubt. It would have been very easy for me to say, well, like this is it.

And things are going to be a struggle. Things are going to be more challenging, but I acknowledged that things, some things were potentially going to be more challenging for me than other people. And I also manifested my reality is not an either or situation.

Sadie: I think that's huge. And I think that's a big nuance that a lot of the time gets lost in this.

Again, it's a buzzword, it's becoming a catchall for many different forms of goal-setting and goal pursuing and, and reaching your dreams and all of these things. And we lose the insight into the process and how people got to that end goal. And we're all at those different starting points. And so I think that is something that's really, really important to.

Remember, and to remind yourself, especially when you're viewing other people's journeys in any aspect of life. You mentioned in that the intersection of race and manifestation, I would love to hear your thoughts on that. I know I said last question, but now my interest has been peaked. How do you, how do you see those two intersecting?

Efia: So, as I mentioned earlier, So much of our manifestation presence in about 95% of the process is informed by our subconscious programming. And part of the subconscious programming is maybe some individuals, those that we have, but also collective flows that we have. So when you have things like internalized depression at play, you can't just say to a person of color or a black person like yeah.

I don't think that's like a real problem. I think that's just a mindset block you have when it's actually society's walk that husbands. And forced upon you. And so to undo those layers, not only of internalized oppression, but also generational trauma and what your ancestors have gone through the ancestral trauma that is like deep, powerful work.

And sometimes, you know, you can't just throw like, oh, I'm just going to say this thing one time. I'm just going to do this practice

Sadie: and do an affirmation every day. And it's all going

Efia: to go. 'cause like, I go like affirmations. They are a hugely powerful tool, but we also need to be making sure that we are going to the layers below just saying something on the surface level, which is why I love things like hypnosis, because that really gets to the root of much deeper issues.

And so yeah, inside of the race and manifestation piece, I know a lot of people will say, well, oh manifestation is only for privileged white people and that simply isn't true. But because that may be typically the people that we're seeing online, then we feel like if you don't see someone who looks like you, you wonder if the space is for you, but this space is for everyone.

And if you don't see someone who looks like, you know, that you are welcome here. Always. And that just because you don't see someone who looks like he doesn't mean it isn't possible for you, even though there may be some additional challenges that you face.

Sadie: Yeah. And I, I think that goes back to kind of helping how you frame it mentally, that works for you.

Like, for me, thinking of it as goal setting, I'm like every single person ever has set a goal. Like it has achieved a goal that they've set, whether it's to get out of bed in the morning or to go to school today. And that can mean. Feel more accessible and reachable and possible and tangible. And so I think the like education and curiosity and framing internally can also be, be helpful at that.

But I think that's something that's very true. And I think a lot of the ways in which it's being portrayed on social media right now adds to that narrative as. I think this conversation is going to be so helpful for so many people and just provide so much insight and clarity on, on goal setting and, and how our thoughts and emotions and beliefs can, can impact our realities, which is something that's hugely relevant to mental health.

If people want to continue to consume your content and work with you et cetera, where can they find.

Efia: So on Instagram, on Tik TOK, I I'm at FES altar underscore. I have a podcast, the manifest edit podcast, and I also have a free training on the power of subconscious manifestation where I'm breaking down how subconscious manifestation actually works on kind of the different roles that your conscious and subconscious mind play within that that will really.

Add some color to the way that you manifest and help that whole process be so much more streamlined, which you can check out by heading to a fierce also.com/freebie.

Sadie: Awesome. Well, all of that will be in today's show notes and in social media when I share this episode, but thank you again for coming on.

She persisted

Efia: and thank you for having me. Of

Sadie: course.

To recap this week's episode Effie and I dove deep into her journey of overcoming childhood trauma, of being orphaned. We talked about the value of the coach client relationship. We talked about exactly what manifestation is. We went deep here and talked about all the different misconceptions and buzzwords you've seen floating around the internet like angel numbers signs, overnight manifesting all of that kind of stuff.

We talked about the importance of subconscious programming, how mental health and manifestation interact. And how race relates to manifesting and so much more. If you enjoyed this week's episode, please be sure to leave a review on apple podcasts and Spotify, make sure that you are subscribed so that you don't miss any upcoming episodes.

And if you share on social media, tag me at ACI persisted podcast, and I will make sure to repost and give you a little shout out. So with that, thank you for listening and I'll see you next week.

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